This page will offer an array of bad advice - all of which we've taken ourselves at one time or another - covering everything from fashion disasters to ill-conceived dance partnerships. So whether you're considering opening a used fake eyelash warehouse or wearing rhinestone-spangled leg-warmers to your next ballroom dance competition, be sure to stop in here for more bad advice soon to come.
In the meantime, here is an excerpt from the "Ask Lena Lencek" column, a true life scenario to tide you over:
Dear Lena,
Never in a million years would you have a situation come up that left you wondering what the hell...What am I going to do. Okay, you are having a holiday christmas party with a few close friends and family. One of your friends has recently been aquainting themself with a nudist colony. Here's the situation: he comes to your house clothed but then escapes into your bedroom and takes his clothes off. When you see him you say "what the f**k are you doing? Okay, Lena, what happens next? Do we ignore it and have fun anyway and play games like twister or do we politely ask him to put on a christmas throw. What do you think, my friend.
Desparetly seeking the PC advise
Lena replies:
Dear Desperate,
As you may know, hospitality is among the highest of ballroom virtues. In this circumstance, the naturally hospitable thing to do would be to disrobe yourself and encourage other guests to do likewise in order to put the nudist at ease. In this situation we would recommend low lighting and complete avoidance of overly bouncy dances such as the jive or samba. Ballroom trivial pursuit or 20 questions might be more suitable activities for the nude holiday gathering.
Best of luck, and remember: "clothes are for pillows, not party-ers".
Lena
